Going Dutch

I have come to Amsterdam to learn Dutch.

I didn't realize at first that this was why I am in Amsterdam. I thought I was coming to Amsterdam to broaden my horizens, live in a beautiful city, experience a new culture, spend some time volunteering, etc. I figured that maybe I'd pick up some Dutch on the side, as I went.

English, you know. They all speak it! And how useful is Dutch going to be to someone, really?

Within the first day after arrival it became clear to me that it would be, at minimum, extremely helpful to at least be able to read Dutch. By the second day, getting a basic knowledge of the spoken language seemed imperative. By the third day, sitting down to breakfast, lunch and dinner at a table full of people joyously chattering away in Dutch, it was clear that mastering the language was my ONLY priority if I wanted to retain my sanity.

Besides, Dutch is so very intriguing.

I once spent six weeks in China. Chinese is a truly foreign language, with no obvious ties to English unless you count words like 'ping pong'. I hear people speaking Chinese, I have no expectation of being unable to understand it.

Dutch is different, though. Dutch is related to English. In fact way back in the gray mists of the millenia the two languages were kissing cousins. Perhaps because of this, when I listen to people speaking Dutch I constantly feel as though if I concentrated just a little bit harder, I would be able to understand what they are saying.

Part of that is of course because the two languages share many similar words. Many of them are found at the breakfast table. 'Butter' is actually 'butter', with the u sound pronounced slightly differently. 'Bread' is 'brood' and when it's pronounced correctly they actually sound quite similar. 'Milk' is 'melk'. It doesn't get much simpler then that. Perhaps it is these words, peppered into the rapid flow of Dutch, that keeps the illusion of comprehension alive. The grammar is also similar to English, though, and I think the cadence of the words might be part of the strange effect.

I am at a slight disadvantage here because I look like I might be Dutch, or at least German. So people tend to start in on a stream of Dutch before I have a chance to smile sheepishly and say 'Sorry, American'. If I was more ethnically distinct they might be more likely to realize that I am not a native speaker. But at least this solves the problem of 'getting the Dutch to speak Dutch', as the 'Introduction to Colloquial Dutch' refers to it.

According to that august volume, Dutch is not the minor language one might suppose. It is of course the official language of the Netherlands, but it is also the majority language in Belgium, and one of two official tongues there. That's without mentioning various former Dutch colonies around the world nor it's close relationship to Afrikaans in South Africa.

So, a more important language than you might think, and one with amorphous historical ties to English. If the Norman invasion hadn't come to England, bringing with it the influence of Latin and it's regular, precise vowels, understanding Dutch might be nothing to us English speakers. But one thing we've definitely lost from our language is the myriad odd, nasal vowel sounds that Dutch provides. There must be ten different ways to say 'ew'.

I plan to master all of them.

Oh yes, the title of this blog. Well yesterday I learned (at the breakfast table, of course!) that the Dutch name for oranges is 'Sinaasappel', which basically translates as Chinese Apples. Other fruits also turn out to be apples! Potatoes are 'earth apples', for instance.

The idea of treating an orange as just a new, exotic type of apple amuses me. And I relate to it. A 'Chinese Apple' is exactly what I feel like. I look like I might be related, but I'm somehow out of place. Still, the always laid-back Dutch are content to slot me into the 'apples' category and let it go at that.

And for that I am grateful.